something hardcore kungfu and a bowel movement

"yes, i ordered two chinese throwing stars and a set of camouflage nunchucks from ninja magazine and that shit still hadn't come yet. it'd been four weeks-why was everyone in the world trying to keep me from realizing my dream of becoming a shadow assassin?"

-brian oswald, narrator, hairstyles of the damned by joe meno


"a couple of years ago, he frantically denied that he ever passed stools, and would only admit to peeing; i was reduced to insisting that i, too, had bowel movements, but he wouldn't listen, and nor was he interested in hearing confessions from other members of the staff."

-katie carr, doctor, narrator, how to be good by nick hornby