DONATIONS! Not Really.

I spent my high school years and much of college in the deadly clutches of the WB network. I was involved on a very serious level with Dawson's Creek and Felicity. I couldn't help it, there were all of those important things to be decided!

Ben or Noel? Joey or Jen? Dawson or Pacey? Dawson or Jack? Dawson or Charlie? Dawson or Pacey? The madness! And then for a time, I was able to escape. I became very busy, so that by the time Felicity said adieu, I was over it. When the Creek had its sappy swan song in the summer of 2003, I was released. Finally.

And now, at the age of 24, I have been sucked back in. This is so sad. It's not even one of the cool ones like Gilmore Girls. Although, I do watch that. And Everwood. Everwood is so cool. What's the latest WB bait to catch the Kristi-fish? You wouldn't believe it if I told you.

Summerland.

Ooooh. Cringe. Gross.

Here's what it is: blame it all on the Academy Awards. All because of them, there was no American Dreams, Desperate Housewives, or new Cold Case tonight. I was left out here, all alone, with no protection, nowhere to turn. I happened upon the WB, and they just happened to be showing the finale of last season's Summerland. The new season, just my luck, starts tomorrow night. So I sat there, watching this dramatic cliffhanger, and now, you know, I just have to know what happens.

There are beaches. They all have tans. It looks so nice. And it's Becky! From Full House! She's on there, and how can I turn my back on Aunt Becky?

Just when I'm out...they pull me back in! Damnations.
NO SPELL CHECK! NOT DONATIONS!
Damnations.
Curses.

So Jonas, tell me, would you consider yourself a deviant?

My kids are so funny when they write.

"Once upon a time long ago in the awful, eerie lands of the community...Jonas escapes from the community and travels great distances. Then he spots a sled on top of a snowy hill. He and Gabriel ride in gratitude and joy."

I don't know why this amuses me. But it does. Every time.

Here's what is not amusing: Jeopardy. The Jeopardy people are anal retentive. The other night, I was watching, and the answer to Final Jeopardy was "All Quiet on the Western Front." Two answers were rejected as being wrong: "All's Quiet on the Western Front," and "All Quiet on Western Front." I mean really, is it that serious Alex? You KNOW what they meant!

Also, I get sort of annoyed now when one of the WIS Sunrise show anchors is out on vacation, and they bring in some substitute anchor. I have grown so accustomed to Hannah Nelson (man I never thought that would happen) and Scott Hawkins that, when they are not there, I find my mornings somehow lacking in something...

Tricky, very tricky.

I never blog at work. This is the first time ever. It's early morning, and the kids aren't here yet. I've realized something: my blog has dots on it. Now, when I picked out the template, I was at home on my home computer, and the template said something about dots. However, I couldn't see them. I guess it's something about my home monitor, or maybe the lighting in my apartment. It's really bright here at school, and my monitor is huge. So I log into blog, and there they are: the dots. I like them. I'll have to adjust something at home so I can see them more often.

Do the Friday Dance. If you don't know the Friday Dance, I can only tell you that it is nothing like the Electric Slide, Hokey Pokey, or Achey Breaky Heart. It perhaps most closely resembles the Macarena.

Spell Check Replacement for Macarena? Macrame. Hahaha. Do the MACRAME!

I love you Spell Check.

VH1's Best Week Ever

It's been quite some time since last I blogged. I wonder if I remember how. I need to think of something random that happened to me and construct a really witty, clever, post about it. On second thought, I'm not sure that I'm up to that. What if I just made a list of things that happened this week that made me go like this: "WHAT!"

1. I refused to take two kids to the book fair because they don't know how to behave in class. One of them was white, one of them was African-American. When they were leaving, one behind the other, together, the African-American kid called me a racist.
2. One of my little girls stepped on another boy's bookbag just a tiny little bit at the end of the day on Friday. To retaliate, he threw her purse to the front of the room so hard that I heard it wooshing through the air. It hit the wall and all of the contents fell out.
3. My kids watched Schindler's List for three days this week in preparation for a unit on The Diary of Anne Frank. When it was over they wrote a 1/2 page reflection on how it made them feel. As I'm flipping through them, I read things like "I was so sad," and "I was upset and scared for the Jewish people," and "I couldn't understand how people could be so horrible to each other." And THEN, I read one that says, "I actually had no feelings while watching this movie. When it was over my neck hurt."
4. During the championship basketball game on Thursday night between my girls and Irmo, which by the way my girls won, I got chastised twice by the referee for jumping up off of the bench. He told my head coach on me.
5. One of my kids asked me if this was my "time of the month."
6. On Monday I gave my kids a bunch of candy because it was Valentine's day. I had a lot of leftovers, so naturally I had to eat them all week long.
7. This one is the best one: One of my kids wrote a story about this person who watches over and protects another person, and called the protective person a "gardening angle."
8. My grandmother had her appendix taken out. I didn't know that could happen to old people.
9. The bigger girl who sang "Fallen" by Alicia Keys did not make it through to the next round on American Idol.
10. I don't really have a 10th one but it would be cool if I did, because I like to keep things in even numbers. I think I'm OCD about that.

I wish I had something fun and happy to blog about. Maybe next time, if I have a gardening angle.

Bart Simpson Is Really 18-Years Old

Friday morning at school, I was surprised at around 7.45 am when a little girl I don't teach walked into my room. She had a Valentines Day card in her hand, and she said, "Can you give this to one of your students?" I said "Yes I can." She laid it down on my desk and wandered away.I knew I shouldn't. But I couldn't help but look. It was addressed to one of my little boys, and it said "Love Ur Secret Admire." How sweet.

The superintendent was in my room for a token 10 minute political visit. When he came in, we were playing a stems review game that I like to call "Stem, Lose, or Draw." So very creative, I know. Anyway, one of my little girls was at the board, and she had drawn the card for "vas," which means "vessel or container." She looked at me puzzled. I whispered behind my hand, hoping none of the other kids could hear, for her to just draw a vase with flowers in it. She jerked back like I had told her to draw the devil. The superintendent, who had until now been reading over a list of the other rooms he was to visit after mine, looked up, intrigued. "Just draw a vase! Put flowers in it!" I whispered again. She looked at me, again, like I had said something insane. Then she shrugged, took a marker, and started drawing.

She drew a smiley FACE with two flowers coming out of the top if its head. I was astonished. The other kids were perplexed. She said, "What? You said to draw a face with flowers in it!"

"I said to draw a vase, a vase!"

The superintendent laughed out loud.

The day only got better after that. I learned three key things:
1. The student whose sister invented the words "crap" and "freaky," also invented the word "wack."
2. I apparently drive an "acoustic car."
3. It is possible for a person's clothes to be "matching too much."

The longer I'm with these kids the more I learn, it's better sometimes if I don't ask them what they mean.

Shades of Face

When I did my supply order for my classroom back before the holidays, I asked for 5 boxes of markers. So, today, I open up the box and start putting the markers out for my kids to use. I have them all out on the tables before I notice. I laughed so hard that someone heard me down the hall.

I had 5 boxes of "Crayola Multicultural" markers.

In each box, there are 8 markers, all shades of brown, evidently to match the skin tones of all the peoples of the world.

Who knew they even had such a product?

I decided to put them to use anyway. When one of my little boys drew some stick figures for his comic strip, he showed it to me to see if it was ok. I said, "Yeah that's good, but color in their faces with our new markers." He laughed and went off to select just the perfect shade of flesh.

About a month ago one of my kids told me that she and her sister invented the word "crap." Today I was informed that they also invented the words "freaky" and "loser." I feel like I have a celebrity in the room.

The blinds. I'm just trying to be as cool as Rob.  

Not allowed on the couch. 

Calendar Smalendar

My gym is running a promotion. If you work out 3 times a week for a whole month, they will give you, get this...you ready?...it's a big deal...whoohoo...12 workouts in one month...get pumped...super prize announcement...it's a CALENDAR.

A calendar.

What? Here's what I'm saying: how about a cash prize? How about some moola? A calendar? Are you kidding me? I'm a teacher, so naturally, I have about a gagillion calendars.

A calendar.

For real.

Raise your hand if you can tell I was stretching to find something to post about?

P.S. Spell check wanted me to replace "smalendar" with "somnolently." I LOVE the spell check. I like to post just so I can run spell check. It also wanted me to replace "whoohoo" with "hooey," and "spell check" with "splashes." Hah. Hooey. Spell Check, you are so funny, where do you get this stuff?